Handling Conflict for Remote Teams
Two fundamental principles can transform team conflict into connection
I had the pleasure of joining my friend Rachel for an episode of her podcast Pieces of Grit today. We covered a variety of topics ranging from conscious leadership to remote work for newbies, to dating coaches. (I’ll make sure to share the episode once Rachel posts it.)
One of the things we discussed is if you’re an employee who is growing into conscious leadership, how do you handle conflict with a manager or coworker? It’s a great question because we’ve all encountered people with whom we have minor or major conflicts. I shared with her a couple of tips that apply to physical offices and remote teams:
We can only manage ourselves, not others.
No matter how hard we try, we cannot control what other people do or say. A conscious leader wouldn’t want to engage in controlling behavior anyway. They’re always looking for the opportunity for both parties to grow and benefit. So if you can’t control others, you can manage how you view and respond to them.
Let’s say you’ve got a teammate that seems to constantly complain about their work. Every call, every email, it just seems like they’re the human embodiment of Eeyore. You can certainly have a conversation with the coworker to help address their tendency. But you can also work on how you respond to them in a conscious, loving way. For every comment they make, you can choose compassion. You can choose to offer a positive perspective. And you can monitor your own energy and how you respond to their negativity. Just because they choose to be in a catabolic, low-energy state, you can choose to be in an anabolic, high-energy state.
The following quote from Yogi Bhajan is also incredibly practical in this situation:
So many team conflicts can be resolved by simply understanding that when a teammate has a bad day, or acts in a certain way, they are acting based on their own level of consciousness (awareness) and perspective of life. It can always change as they grow in their own journey of development. Most of the time, it simply has nothing to do with you and is completely based on their relationship with themselves.
Everyone we meet is both our teacher and our student.
When we approach any relationship, whether casual, business, familial, or intimate, with the humility to know that everyone is our teacher, it completely changes our perspective. That annoying teammate suddenly has something we can learn about. Despite their negativity, they have something we can learn from them. Perhaps it’s just the awareness of how negativity impacts others’ attitudes and energy.
It’s the perfect balance in every relationship when we’re both the teacher and student. We’re teaching others, but also learning. Conscious leaders are humble enough to know they’re students, while also sharing their experience with others. This foundational principle can completely transform otherwise challenging relationships. When facing a difficult relationship or situation, ask yourself, “What can I learn from those that I find challenging?” It will completely shift the energy between you and the others; making space for growth, compassion, and connection.
For a remote team, these principles can help strengthen your team and lead to greater collaboration. Especially in a virtual setting, managing your own thoughts and emotions and treating every teammate as a teacher and student will open doors of opportunity for incredible connection and teamwork.
I will soon be launching a training series for employers and employees to hone their remote work skills and bring more conscious leadership to work. Stay posted for these exciting and timely new courses!
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